News

Blog post by Augustin Hamilton (Quebec Life Coalition) — Photo: video screenshot/Jean-Pierre Roy/YouTube

In his documentary Trans Generation, independent producer Jean-Pierre Roy interviews Gabriel Cudia*, a young woman who began her transition at age 15 and eventually came to regret it.

In her testimony, Gabriel recounts struggling to adjust to puberty as a child. She was also diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (autism).

She explains that she was bullied in school because of her autism and because she wore baggy clothes to hide her developing feminine figure. Amid this rejection, one girl stood up for her and became her friend. However, that girl was abusive, and Gabriel fell into a toxic, codependent relationship with her. This relationship pushed Gabriel to become a "man." She was 14 years old at the time.

The doctors were informed that she had Asperger’s, and they simply noted it in her medical record.

Three or four months later, in December 2016, she had a second appointment at Mérakis. They asked her how she had been doing since her first visit. She left with a prescription for testosterone.

Two days later, Mérakis sent a letter to the surgery center (GRS) for the mastectomy. The letter was signed by three doctors: the one who had seen her, the doctor who had been present at the first appointment, and a third doctor she had never met. The letter stated that, after numerous in-depth discussions and follow-up evaluations, they approved the procedure.

She was eager to go through the transition process because she was under a lot of pressure from her "girlfriend" at the time.

She now regrets the changes to her voice, the loss of her breasts, and her broad shoulders and large scars. She now wears a post-mastectomy bra like those worn by women with breast cancer who have undergone a mastectomy. She says that at the time, she wasn’t experiencing dysphoria, but that now, with these scars, she is.

She started having doubts in 2020. She was no longer with her girlfriend. She had received compliments as a transgender person for some time. But after the pandemic began, she found herself alone and stopped receiving those kinds of compliments.

Gabriel admits to lying to her loved ones by saying she was "gender-fluid." She started receiving compliments again after the pandemic. She identifies as gender-fluid, which allows her to sometimes dress as a woman and reconnect with her femininity and other times dress as a man to find a "safe, comforting space."

She says the realization that she wasn’t alone in her situation prompted her to speak out: "There hasn't been a single day for nearly a month now that I haven't heard new stories or a new name of someone like me." She says that something needs to be exposed, and action must be taken because it's not normal for so many people to have regrets. She uses a striking image to describe the absurdity of the situation: "If I'd asked at age 16 to have an arm removed, would people have said yes? I can’t even get a tattoo until I’m 18. How is it possible that I have the right to have a part of myself removed just like that? Just because I said I was someone else ... even though my mother said I was acting under influence..."

She is now speaking out to protect those unaware of this reality and “who end up in that clinic”, where they’re told they’ll feel better if they transition. She points out that even though she was more socially accepted when she pretended to be a boy, deep down, she never felt at peace—something she had told the clinic. Incidentally, the clinic noted in her file that she “does not feel at peace” and “has episodes of anxiety.” Despite these issues, the clinic issued several letters approving Gabriel’s transition surgeries. For the surgery to create a prosthetic penis, the clinic wrote a letter stating that Gabriel had never raised any concerns about taking testosterone. However, Gabriel points out that her file shows she requested a meeting because she disliked certain testosterone side effects. Apparently, the clinic did not take her comments into account since a letter states that Gabriel was very satisfied with her changes.

At age twenty, she underwent a hysterectomy and must now take estrogen pills for the rest of her life. She began taking estrogen two years before affirming herself as a woman. A few months after starting testosterone, she began experiencing back pain around the level of her colon. At one point, the pain was so severe that she could no longer walk. The pain subsided during the first month after she started taking estrogen, and it had completely gone away by the second month. She believes she was intolerant to the hormones she was given to masculinize her, but no one had mentioned the possibility of such a side effect.

What stopped her from continuing her transition with “phalloplasty” was the memory of how difficult the hysterectomy had been for her and the new scars that another surgery would leave on her body—particularly on one of her arms, from which tissue is taken to construct the artificial organ. All of the surgeries had been offered to her from the very beginning, for when she would reach the age at which she could undergo them. At the time, she had agreed to go through with this process to please her girlfriend. But now that she would like her breasts to be reconstructed, she’s being told that it cannot be reimbursed by the RAMQ because it is considered cosmetic.

This is despite the fact that the surgeries she received as part of her transition were covered under the pretext that "trans" youth have a higher suicide rate than other young people (as if not transitioning was what leads these young people to commit suicide, when in fact the opposite is true). She notes, however, that her medical records state that she had no suicidal thoughts before her transition. Now that she is experiencing suicidal thoughts and has asked her doctor if she could receive euthanasia because she is so miserable in her own skin, her request for breast reconstruction is considered cosmetic...

Due to the changes her body has undergone, she feels uncomfortable in public. She says she’s afraid to speak, worried that people will realize she isn’t a "real" woman. She says she has reached the point where she would consider ending her life because she was told that transitioning would help her. She undertook this process to please people she wanted to keep in her life. However, she later realized that she had made poor choices and had been influenced. Now, she hates significant aspects of her body. She has therefore considered euthanasia, although it is not currently an option for her. However, she states that she would not go through with it because she promised her mother she would not take her own life.

She says she will not pursue further surgeries, such as breast reconstruction, until she is certain it is the right choice, especially given the risks of rejection or infection.

She laments that the doctors and psychologists she consulted did not investigate the possible causes of her distress. She also notes that the child psychiatrist who diagnosed her with autism was never consulted, nor did they seem to notice that she was under the influence of another person. Gabriel condemns the negligence with which the system thrusts children into the transition process. She would like to see greater rigor applied when evaluating children who request a gender transition. These children should first be offered therapy that explores the possible causes of their discomfort.

She therefore wants people to ask themselves why so many women have been mutilated and now regret it. She also wants people to question how the system operates so that it can be reformed.

As for us, we will not stop denouncing the shameful scandal of all these young people, like Gabriel Cudia, whom the system throws into a process of mutilation driven by a destructive ideology.

*The name is spelled as it appears in the documentary excerpt.